Lame Family Letter, 2020

What Up, Fam!?

So…the year of optometry and vision and stuff has been a bit of a bust, huh? It’s been a very “exciting” year at Chadwick and Tech Optics. Ya know..exciting. Kind of like skydiving without a parachute or swimming in shark-infested waters without a cage while wearing eau de chum perfume. That kind of exciting.

Oh, speaking of Tech Optics…in a holiday flurry of 2019 year-end activity, we added a new weird uncle to the Chadwick Optical family. We bought Tech Optics. Why would we buy Tech Optics? Well, a couple reasons. First, the owners made us a Godfather-style offer we couldn’t refuse. And second, all the low vision device companies we know of are…kinda boring. How on earth can companies take this subject matter and make it boring!? It’s eyes, it’s the brain, it’s the most important sense, and it’s serving our most revered members of society! We’re not selling tchotchkes here, we’re making magic and bending light! And that should NOT be boring. So, anyways, check out Tech Optics for non-boring low vision. And if we’re missing any excitement, let us know what we can do to make it better for you. 

But what would this year be if we didn’t mention the elephant in the room…COVID-19. Or as the cool kids are calling it…”the rona.” For the past few years, I’ve done a whole lot of worldwide travelling, spreading the joyous news of Chadwick Optical. It’s brought me from Canada to Australia to China to Colombia to Turkey. That was kind of the plan this year too…until maybe right around…March.

In March, everybody stopped needing glasses for a bit. Which was kinda tough. Because that’s what we do. Rather than wallow in the despair of the situation (ok, maybe we wallowed for like 3 months at the most), we looked at the list of everything that we’d been too busy to do for the past 10 years, and we got to work. We began having classes three times a week on ophthalmic optics, production theory, human behavior, and just all the weird stuff we do here at Chadwick and Tech. 

In all of it, we were able to get some pretty cool stuff done during this time:

  • Went from having 4 certified opticians to 9 certified opticians on staff
  • Cut our production time in half and decreased waste product by 50%
  • Developed an internal intranet training program
  • Developed some really cool remote vision assessment tools, including chadwickvirtualtryon.com, and some printable near and distance charts
  • Developed a filing and verification system that will reduce paper usage by 90%

But let’s be honest, we know why you’re reading this. Not to hear about how cool we are. You already know THAT! You want to know trivial information about people you’ll probably never meet! That’s what makes it a proper lame family holiday letter!

  • Despite our growth over the past few years, Tom has yet to relinquish his title as most interesting man at Chadwick Optical. He dyed his hair “Lusty Lavender” (available at Rite Aid)
  • Jenn fell in love with Instant Pot Cooking
  • Alex went on a cruise at the very beginning of the pandemic, got stuck on a ship for a week, and wasn’t allowed back to Chadwick for a month or two. That sucked.
  • Amanda went home to Virginia for a week to revamp her southern accent.
  • Julie joined us in a marketing capacity. Julie voluntarily contorts her body in tortuous levels of heat and humidity to remain functional.
  • Tim joined us to help us up our social media game. He draws zombies for Julie’s kid in some sort of strange courtship ritual.
  • Esmerlin got engaged, built a gym in his basement, and started a side hustle building furniture. #overachiever
  • Jess turned the big 3-0
  • Renaissance Man John has upped his dedication to playing the piano and learning Japanese. 
  • Kathy “successfully managed” the goose population in her backyard (I don’t think this means murder but I’m afraid to ask) and is enjoying a goose-poop free environment. Next year, she’ll focus her efforts on ridding her yard of other kinds of poop. But geese are covered for now.
  • Charlie grew an experimental mullet, and MacGyvered a 600 pound transformer into the attic using a chain, a nylon rope, a ratchet strap, a 2017 Honda Accord Hybrid, and a special insurance policy that pays out for accidental dismemberment.
  • Ken-ne had over 100 different hairstyles for the year, and also had an unfortunate mishap with false eyelashes.
  • Brian went on his first vacation in two years, and spent the majority of it sick courtesy of some bad seafood.
  • Lexi got a new car to better defend herself from the rogue deer along her commute.
  • Michelle got new windows installed in her house AND rearranged the plants in her front garden.
  • Jaime cooked more dinners in quarantine than in all previous years combined.

And with that list of lamenesses, I bid you farewell, my dear friend. We at Chadwick and Tech Optics wish you the best in 2021, and hope the (not enclosed in electronic version) eye will help ward off any of the evil that comes your way.

Love,

Charlie 

Chadwick Optical Evil Eye